Questions???? Will my love will find you?
Do you know who I am? Do you know that I am your mom? Do you know how much I love you? Do you know that I would of given anything to have you here with me? to see your bright eyes and smiling face, to experience your fighting with your brother and sitting on your Dad’s lap. Do you see me? Do you feel my love from heaven? Does my love fly to heaven? Do you know how much you are missed? Even now, the ache that I feel, the longing to hold you again. The desire to teach you, to have sleepless nights, wipe away tears and the dirty diapers. I am under no illusions, I want it all.
Do you know nothing replaces you? Not the jewellery, holding another baby or the puppy your daddy bought me. The hole in my heart is still there. It changes, sometimes it is not as sharp or I think “wow its getting a little better”; but then, I see something that reminds me of you, your perfect little sleeping face, your fingers and toes or what age you would of been. I feel those perfect shaped holes in my heart again, the ones only you can fill!
I think of you always! Do you know that? Who is holding you until I see you again? Is my Gran there or my Papa? are they telling you about me? Are you with your brothers and sister? Do you play games? Are you getting taught what you need to know? What do you look like? Do you laugh? My little Saints, Have you spoken to Abraham or asked Eve why? Have you seen Saint Theresa?
What a day it will be when I see you, I long for it! I hope you will be waiting at the gates for me!!, My arms won’t be big enough! Heaven is sweeter knowing you are there.
My babies, how I love you! That small 4 letter word is so little, too insignificant, to express this deep love.