12 comments not to say to your friend after a miscarriage!

I’ve put together a list of 12 comments that different family and friends have said to me after my miscarriages and stillbirths!  I remember each of these as of it was yesterday.  I could even tell you when and where they were said


12 comments not to say to your friend after miscarriage

Sometimes  I got really angry, but more often than not I choose to see that the person was trying their best to be kind, the words still hurt,  I am just  not good at confrontation.  Except, when someone said that there was something wrong with my babies, I can’t keep my mouth shut.  I always corrected them!  My babies were perfect and I don’t want anyone to think differently.

12 comments not to say to your friend after a miscarriage!

(and some snarky responses from me!)

  1. “You have your very own angel!”    No, no,  no I don’t! humans don’t turn into Angels … Our spirits go to be with Christ until we receive new bodies in Christ.
  2. “You are, young you can try again / You have lots of time to get pregnant again!”After what I experienced, do you think I would want to try again? let my heart feel the pain or physically feel the pain?
  3. “You’ll have another one!” No I want my baby, can you substitute your one child for your second child!
  4. “Your not over that yet???”There is no time limit on grief!
  5. “Your not the only one that has miscarried” Great that helps!
  6. “There was something wrong with the fetus!” No, there wasn’t! I have tests to prove it! There are no reasons for this happening!
  7. “It’s natures way, it was meant to be!” No it’s not
  8. “God has a plan!” Yes he does and sometimes it sucks!
  9. “Its good you had a miscarriage, you could of been in the hospital for months with the baby or IT could of been DEFORMED!” Really!!  Do you know what I would do to hold my baby again, or what I would give to sit in an hospital?
  10. “It’s better now than later in the pregnancy.” Your just stupid!! So you can decide when I attach to my baby!
  11. “I know how you feel because when I lost my dog, I cried for days.” Idiot
  12. “You can’t be sad over what you’ve never had!”  I have no words!

If you are talking to a friend after miscarriage just say” I am sorry!”,  listen to her! Your friend just wants you to listen!

I would love the opportunity to tell my story and speak about my babies!

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